Should I ask my friend if I can share a hotel room with her?
Q My dear longtime friend called me this week and told me that her eldest son is in intensive care at a hospital about four hours from my house. I offered to come and be with her and her child, but she said she didn’t want me to go that far and leave my old husband alone. She texted me and we talked on the phone when she had time to give me an update. We certainly don’t know how long her child will be in intensive care, if operations are an option or what will really happen. If I decide to go, do I have to tell him in advance and if I tell him I’m coming, would it be appropriate to ask him if I can share his hotel room? Or should I just go straight to the hospital and ask him about the room?
A. Your friend told you she didn’t need you to come now. It seems that she devotes all her time to her child. She can stay in the hospital or if she goes to her hotel room, she can go there at odd times of the day, try to catch a few winks, take a shower and go back to the hospital . She may not or need to be concerned about another person’s comfort or sleeping/eating schedule or who is looking after your husband.
What you can do for now: Continue to make yourself available to listen to her phone calls and offer support for anything she may need; pray with her and for her and her child – these are probably the most important and appreciated things you can do for her right now.
Depending on the status of her child, if you feel like you want to ask her again in a few days if she would like you to make the trip to be with her, then do so, but I think a surprise visit may be too much for her right now.
If she decides that she would like you to travel and hang out with her, I don’t think it would be appropriate for you to ask her to share her room with her. If she offers, fine, but otherwise no. If she asks you to come, be sure to ask her if there is anything you can bring with you for her or her child.
Question about my daughter’s vacation
Q Her best friend’s parents have asked our daughter to go on vacation with them for a week next month on a beach. They are very nice people and our daughter really wants to accompany them. We have never done this stuff before, but we feel that I need to talk to the mother about what kind of clothes we need to pack for her based on the kind of stuff she is going to do and give her some kind of help. authority so that they can take him to a doctor or hospital, if necessary. We want to give them money to pay for his meals and souvenirs. My question is, do I just offer a certain amount of money or do I ask them how much I should give them for her? Should I give her a separate amount of money so she can spend it on her own? Or should I not ask him at all because it might upset them?
A. How nice your daughter is to be invited to go on vacation with her friend and their parents. You should go talk to the mother about the type of activities and clothing your daughter will need. You should also tell her that you intend to give her money to cover her meals, souvenirs and activity costs. It is also worth asking if you should send a certain amount of money with your daughter for her own pocket money if they do the same with their daughter.
The results of this conversation should give you enough information to decide how much money to give the parents and if you should also give your daughter money and how much. If your daughter has any allergies or is on medication, be sure to let the parents know.